So a lot has happened this year that not many people experience on a regular basis. Most of these things have been very trying and emotionally weighing on my mind, body, and soul, but I am staying strong, trusting God and pushing through. Just as I am finally feeling like I have a place and "Family" in Hawaii I threw in a curve ball by taking a job as an English Language Instructor in South Korea starting in February 2010. From the start of this year I knew things were gonna be very different. It was the start of a year as a young professional, no longer a college student, responsible for my own life and well being. Just as soon as I could blink my eyes the balls of fire, pain, anger, death, and whatever else began to hit me in the face.
Towards the end of January I began to realize that my Aunt Tomie wasn't getting any better. Her fight with cancer was taking the best of her and she was slowly slipping away from us. I tried so hard to build up the strength to handle it, but never could stay strong when I spoke to her or saw her in person. It was February 2009 that I had the chance to stop by Dallas on my way home from a conference for work in Nashville, where I made a point to sit and talk with Aunt Tomie every day that I was there. During those precious moments I knew that would be the last time I would see her alive. Though the thought of not having her around in the physical world ripped, clawed, and tore my heart to pieces, I managed to keep it together not only for her, but also for my grandma. Though they fought all the time I loved watching the dynamic between the two. I miss her funny jokes, crude remarks, and hysterical laughing in the midst of seriousness. She always told me that I was such a good person and was so thankful that I made it a point to come see her all the way from Hawaii. Aunt Tomie and I loved each other to the core and had some great times together learning to cook, sew, speak japanese, and especially playing pachinko. This Friday will be Aunt Tomie's birthday, its a hard one because this is the first one without her around. To celebrate I will listen to Elvis, her favorite, and eat some yummy Mochi. I know she hangs around me still, but I miss her presence.
All I have to say is Cancer is an ugly beast!
I have been to more funerals this year than most have been to in a lifetime. This better change, because its dragging me down. Thank goodness for the friends and family that I have surrounding me.
I know this blog was quite random, but I needed to get my thoughts on this stuff out. Dont worry they wont all be like this.
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